Kelley said this to me today in an email. The context was that she wanted to do SOMETHING tonight, and not stay at home. So Lowe's was her idea. She has a good reason: looking at swingsets for Kate, who is about to turn 1 in a couple weeks.
I replied and asked her how it feels to be getting older.
I'm 11 years older than she is. I've already acknowledged that I'm getting older (rupturing my Achilles Tendon at age 37 playing flag football with a bunch of college students assured me I'm getting older), and I recognize more easily that people younger than me are getting older THAN THEY RECOGNIZE IT THEMSELVES. Of course, I guess it's like that for most people when they look at younger generations.
I've been involved in youth ministry since 1997. My first full-time position was in a small town and there wasn't much to do there, so we went to the nearby larger town (about 15 minutes away) or to Greenville or Columbia CONSTANTLY. I used to say that I've put more miles on church vans than on my own personal vehicles. I've taken van loads of kids to see millions of movies I had no desire to see, to millions of restaurants at which I had no desire to eat, on millions of mall shopping trips when I had no money to buy anything . . . ALL SO THAT THOSE KIDS COULD HANG OUT TOGETHER IN A SAFE, POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT. Of course, I enjoyed hanging out with them, too. I was single and had no wife at home TRYING TO RULE MY LIFE. (That's a joke. Kelley is too small to rule me.)
Nowadays, teenagers don't so much like hanging out together in real life; they prefer hanging out on Facebook. I guess. Go figure. Makes no sense to me.
My point in all this is, NOT ONCE IN ALL MY YEARS OF YOUTH MINISTRY have I gotten in a van and asked a bunch of teenagers, "So where do y'all want to go tonight?" and heard the reply, "Let's go to Lowe's."
So Lowe's it is. And that makes me happy. So much better than Old Navy, Rooms to Go, Target, etc. I like looking at lawnmowers we can't afford (right now), and getting a small/cheap hand tool I don't have, and buying MORE bungee cords (among other things, I use them on my home gym to increase the resistance . . .)
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Fitness and Age: Understanding Fitness Part E
While
it is generally true that fitness level declines with age after about age
thirty-five, it is not an absolute.
Getting older does not necessitate feeling older, losing strength and
vitality, or limiting physical activities.
Most people know someone aged seventy or older who continues to
participate in physically challenging activities like weight lifting,
bicycling, snow skiing, hiking, or jogging.
There
are a variety of prevalent age-related fitness myths, and Dr. Kenneth Cooper
exposes them in his book, Faith-Based
Fitness. Many people believe
exercising after age forty is dangerous, but there is no support for this myth,
as long as older continuing or beginning exercisers have regular medical
checkups. In fact, evidence shows that
those who fail to exercise are at greater risk than those who exercise
regularly.
With
any endurance exercise comes the warning not to exceed the maximum heart rate,
which is calculated by the formula 220 - age.
The second age myth is that maximum heart rate automatically declines with
age. The main reason the maximum heart
rate declines with age is a lack of aerobic conditioning. A higher maximum heart rate can be maintained
by anyone who does aerobic exercise.
With a higher maximum heart rate comes a greater working capacity.
Blood
pressure does not have to increase significantly with age, although it usually
does. Many people do have a harder time
controlling blood pressure, but it is generally true that blood pressure can be
controlled and kept in the normal range by staying fit. The same is true of body fat percentage. People generally become less fit by choice,
not by some unalterable force of nature.
The
average person loses between 30 - 40 percent of his muscle mass during his
lifetime, but the reason is because most people become less active and less fit
as they age. It is commonly thought that
increasing muscle mass after age sixty is impossible, but muscle can be added
at any age with strength training. Cooper
teaches that strength training leads to significant increases in muscle size
and strength and in functional mobility, even among nursing home residents up
to ninety-six years old. Likewise, people who engage in regular
endurance exercise can maintain a high aerobic capacity from age forty to about
age seventy. It is only in the seventies
and eighties that older athletes normally begin to experience declines in
aerobic ability, but even at late ages, those who continue to train can remain
remarkably fit.
Another
myth is that after age sixty-five, there is no reason to worry about
cholesterol, smoking, or hardening of the arteries. Cholesterol levels are important at any age,
and no age is too old to benefit from reduced cholesterol intake and blood
levels. Research shows that quitting
smoking has significant benefits regardless of age, and atherosclerosis
(hardening or clogging of the arteries) can be reversed through dietary changes
or prescription drugs.
Having
a heart attack is no reason to discontinue or avoid a fitness program, and for
those who have suffered a heart attack, there is no better time to start
one. Not only is regular exercise an
important part of cardiac rehabilitation, but exercising in a monitored
rehabilitation program is safer than exercise among the general
population. Heart attack victims are at
greater risk when they avoid exercise than when they engage in exercise.
Myths
may be more about laziness than age-related fears. Research shows that people as old as one
hundred can dramatically increase their strength, improve their balance,
restore bone density, moderate diabetes, and diminish joint pain in just a few
weeks of weight training. The minute a
person starts sweating, whether he is twenty or ninety, he elevates his heart
rate, his arteries get more flexible, and his blood pressure is lowered,
thereby lowering the risk of heart disease and stroke. For hours after exercise, bodies are more
sensitive to insulin, keeping sugar levels in check and reducing the risk of
diabetes.
Herschel
Walker is a great, modern example of the myths of age’s affect on fitness. Walker won the 1982 Heisman Trophy (presented
annually to the top college football player in America) and was a world class
sprinter at the University of Georgia from 1980– 1982. He played professional football from
1983-1997, and competed in the 1992 Winter Olympics as a bobsledder. On January 30, 2010, at age forty-seven,
Walker competed in his first professional Mixed Martial Arts fight. Critics ridiculed him for entering the sport
at such an advanced age, and concerns for his health were daily topics on
national sports shows. Despite all the
negativity, Walker knocked out twenty-six year old Greg Nagy in a dominating
performance.
Because
of his age, Walker had to endure a battery of tests to be sanctioned to
fight. Allen Fields, chief physician for
the Florida Boxing Commission that also oversees MMA sanctioning, said that not
only did Walker pass the most strenuous of all medical athletic tests, but he
produced the highest cardiac stress test score of anyone ever tested by his
facility. Fields said that Walker was in
“as fine a shape as Muhammad Ali or any of these people we’ve had the care
of. This guy is 47 going on 22, as far
as his physical fitness goes.” Like all
world class athletes, Walker is an anomaly.
But unlike most world class athletes, Walker has maintained his fitness
as he has aged. Mike Tyson and Bo
Jackson are contemporaries of Walker, and at this stage of their lives, they
look like any other middle-aged, overweight man. Everyone has the choice to age like Walker,
or to age like Tyson and Jackson.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Fitness and Body Types: Understanding Fitness Part D
God enjoys diversity, as seen in
nature with all the varieties of plants, flowers, and trees. He also made many different body types, and
all are fearfully and wonderfully made.
God did not give one body type as the model for all people. He created human bodies in a variety of
shapes and sizes, and each one has specific strengths, weaknesses,
capabilities, and limitations.
While
God loves and accepts each body shape and size, Hollywood does not. Hollywood tries to tell the world which body
types are beautiful and acceptable, at the exclusion of every other body type. For instance, women models are generally
abnormally tall and thin, with eating habits that are detrimental to their own
health as well as the health of women around the world who aspire to be like
them. (This unhealthy thinness is not
limited to female models.)
God
decides the physical attributes of every person. An individual can alter his God-given
appearance to some degree with diet and fitness, but not enough to change his
basic structure. Therefore, instead of
trying to fit a mold he was not created to fit and showing God ungratefulness,
he should give Him praise and thanks and be a good steward of his body. Nutritionalist and personal trainer Ron
Kardashian says,
Nowhere in the Bible does He say
that a human being is born to be anorexic.
On the contrary, God says that He made you to be His son or daughter,
uniquely created with wonderful gifting and potential. While He desires for your body to be the
temple in which He dwells, He does not describe the perfect shape, height, or
weight that He prefers. Instead, God
places emphasis on the inner beauty of your person, not on the outward physique
that will one day perish. God considers
the good behavior that proceeds from integrity of character more important than
a “Hollywood-type” figure…According to Scripture, what is most precious to
God? …His Word does not teach that a
certain physique makes you more or less delightful to Him.
Human
somatotypes, or body types, have three distinct characteristics: endomorphy
(endomorph or endo), ectomorphy (ectomorph or ecto), and mesomorphy (mesomorph
or meso). Some people fall into one of
these distinct categories, but most people have a blend of characteristics from
two of the categories. These
characteristics determine how each person’s body will look, react to exercise
and gain or lose weight. Figure 2.1 gives representations of the three body
types, while figure 2.2 gives representations of blended body types.
Figure 2.1: The Three Somatotypes.
Figure 2.2: Somatotype Combinations.
The
mesomorph (or meso) body type is best described as muscular. Characteristic mesos have the ability to
increase muscle size relatively quick and easy.
They have well-developed, rectangular shapes with thick bones, defined
chests, and shoulders that are larger and broader than their waistlines. Their hips are about the same width as their
shoulders, and they have toned buttocks and legs. Sylvester Stallone and Demi Moore are good
examples of mesos.
Mesos
are well-suited for athletics and are physically capable of high levels of
activity. They excel in activities that
require strength and short bursts of energy.
Conversely, endurance activities are not their forte and they tend to
avoid the cardio section of the gym.
This avoidance is representative of playing to natural strengths.
Mesos
tend to store fat evenly over their bodies and have a high metabolism because
of their muscularity and physical activity.
Of all the three body types, mesos have the greatest ability to stay
fit. Unfortunately, as mesos age or
become less active, they can easily become overweight unless they also reduce
their diet. Cardiovascular disease is a
common threat for overweight mesos.
The
endomorph (or endo) body type is best described as round for males and curvy
for females. Characteristic endos have
the capacity for high fat storage and a greatest propensity for obesity. The majority of their body weight is centered
in the middle, around the hips for females, and in the abdomen for men. Structurally, they have large bones, round
faces, large hips and thighs, and shorter arms and legs, which result in a
stocky appearance.
Because
abdominal fat carries a greater risk of heart disease and cardiovascular
problems, male endos must be very diligent to control their weight. Unfortunately, endos have a harder time
controlling their weight, but it is possible, as Robin Williams has shown. They are naturally strong and can gain muscle
easily with weight training. Every ounce
of added muscle constantly burns calories, so adding muscle increases
metabolism and can make controlling body fat much easier.
Female
endos have been among the most celebrated women of the last century. Again, the word that best describes endo is
curvy, which is an ideal trait for females.
Marilyn Monroe is the classic endo example. More recent examples are
Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, and Cindy Crawford.
The
ectomorph (or ecto) body type is best described as slim. Characteristic ectos have trouble gaining
weight: think fashion model. They have a
linear shape with narrow hips and longer limbs.
Tom Hanks and Courtney Cox are famous ectos.
Ectos
are well-suited for endurance activities, not physical contact. Like mesos, they have a tendency to stick to
what they do best, bypassing the free weights for the cardio equipment. They have longer, thinner muscles, but they
can add strength if they give the effort.
Ectos
have low body fat, one of the best health qualities possible, because of their
faster metabolism and tendency for endurance activities. But, a healthy outward appearance is not
always an indication of inner health.
Ectos who have a poor diet are at a greater risk of high cholesterol,
hypertension, and obesity, even though an obese ecto may not look obese.
As
previously stated, most people have a blend of characteristics from two of
these three body types. Expectations for
physical appearance and fitness results must be matched to the limitations of a
person’s body type. Joseph Christiana
stresses that getting results from any exercise
starts with knowing your body
type. Each body type requires a
different exercise approach or methodology for reading its genetic
potential. Some types gain weight very
easily; other types would have to eat all day to gain weight. Some require very little effort to get great
results, while others have to work zealously to see fewer results. There are body types who carry their unwanted
weight in the upper body area, and others who gain weight in the hips and
thighs. Considering your particular body
type will help you choose the exercise program most effective for your needs.
A
football team is an easy reference point for the three body types and for
realistic expectations. Team members
will exhibit the normal strengths, weaknesses, and necessities of each body
type. Ectos will never match the
strength of endos or mesos, and will never have the ability to be a lineman, a
linebacker, or a fullback. Endos will
never match the agility or speed of ectos or mesos, and will never have the
ability to play receiver, running back, or defensive back. Mesos are too small to play on the line, and
generally lack the height and agility to be good receivers. No running back wants to run behind a line of
ectos. No lineman wants to open holes
for endo running backs or have their quarterback throwing to endo
receivers. All three types are needed,
and each depends on the others for success.
Each
individual must accept that his body types prohibit him from developing certain
body shapes. If a Cocker Spaniel tries
to look like a Labrador Retriever, it will spend its life hopelessly and
miserably chasing an impossible dream.
For each different body type, there is a level of fitness and an ideal
size and shape that can be achieved. But
regardless of effort, an ecto will never be able to look like a powerfully
built meso because the bone structures are different. Individuals must accept that doing their very
best with what they have is all they can do, and furthermore, it is all they
are required to do.
Monday, June 18, 2012
My First Father's Day
OK, technically Sunday, June 17 was my 39th Father's Day, but it was my FIRST AS A FATHER! Since I was 16, I'd wondered if the day would ever come. The following is the most personal thing about me, something I hid from just about everybody until a year ago when I shared it with my church family during a sermon: at age 16, I discovered that because of a birth defect, I would never have biological children.
As a junior in high school, I started the year at 5'3" tall and about 110 pounds. I lied on my driver's license and put 5'4" and 115. Somehow that made me feel better. I'd never really started puberty because the only testosterone my body made was the 20% of a male's total that comes from the adrenal gland. I was a slender, small child and for years I just thought I'd always be that way, but by the time I was 12, my 10-year old brother had passed me in size. It was humiliating and it caused me to resent him.
After 7th grade, I refused to change in front of anyone. I'd always loved sports and P.E. had been my favorite class of the day, but no more. I was scared to death that someone would find out. We moved to Portsmouth, VA the summer before my 10th grade year and for P.E. there, you were docked a point off your final grade for every day you didn't shower (in open showers) after class. I quickly discovered that there were 90 days in a semester, and the best grade I could get was a 10, because I wasn't taking a shower in front of ANYBODY. Awesome. Made me miss Franklin County High School in Carnesville, GA all the more. There, nobody cared if you went to class stinking.
Near the end of my 10th grade year, after my family had moved to SC, I convinced my parents that something was wrong with me and I started seeing doctors. I thought having a younger brother pass me in size was humiliating, but it was NOTHING compared to the exams I was put through. I won't post my official diagnosis to keep the content of this blog PG, but after a few months of blood work, I started taking testosterone in mid-September, 1989. That's about the same time I was sized for my high school class ring - size 8.
All I knew was, that stuff worked! The process that should've taken 3-4 years or more happened to me in less than a year. SUDDENLY, and I do mean suddenly, none of my clothes or shoes fit anymore. I developed an Adam's Apple that has given me shaving fits ever since, and the deeper voice that goes with it. Our class rings arrived around February, and I was completely shocked when my size 8 ring got stuck on my middle knuckle. I had to get it re-sized to a 10, and then later, to a 10.5. In four months, I'd grown about 4 inches taller and about 40 pounds heavier. Talk about AWESOME!
But, growing so quickly caused plenty of problems, too. I tried out for my school's baseball team about that same time - February. I was hitting balls harder than ever before - obviously. I could throw harder. There were about 30 guys trying out and up to half would get cut, so I was going all out. And it was killing me. Never before had physical activity caused me PAIN. My sudden growth was too much for all my connective tissues, and each night after practice, I'd hobble to my room and ice everything down for a couple hours. Each day at school was misery because we had 3 floors and I had classes on each. One day before practice, I went and talked to the coach and told him the real reason I wasn't going to come back. He told me I was going to make the team and that he could really use me, so I kept trying for a couple days. And then I told him I just couldn't do it. I was heartbroken. Baseball was the only organized sport I'd ever played, I was pretty good at it, and playing high school baseball had always been a dream.
My growth slowed over the next year, and I graduated at 5'9" and about 175 pounds. A few people at school actually accused me of taking steroids. I asked them how stupid they were, because steroids don't make anybody grow 6" TALLER. But, it was obvious that SOMETHING had happened. I had some weights at home and used them often even though I didn't really know what I was doing, but my body-type is mesomorph and I had natural muscle. Again, it was AWESOME!
That sounds like a happy ending, and the growth was great, but I was still dealing with the fact that I'd never have biological children. When my doctor told me that part, I started crying. And I didn't stop for a while. He tried to console me with humor: "Just think, you can have all the sex you want and you won't have to worry about getting anybody pregnant!" That didn't even make me smile. I was a committed Christian, absolutely determined to have sex with my wife and only my wife. My wife.
My wife was on my mind from that point on, and thinking about her scared me to death. This is the hard part of my diagnosis, if you haven't figured it out. I'd always loved being around children, especially babies, and they seemed to like me, too. I just expected to have 3-4 of my own in the future. With my wife. But with my PROBLEM, I didn't think anybody would ever want me after they found out. So I guarded my secret. I absolutely HAD to tell my closest MALE friends, and a few adults (male and female) who had become mentors to me. I went to the doctor twice a month for injections, and it grew increasingly difficult to hide all those doctor visits, or the yellow doctor's receipts that I sometimes forgot to remove from my car. These receipts had big, dark handwriting on them that said, "Testosterone Injection."
But I hid it from girls. The first girl I ever loved found out accidentally from a friend of ours at church. The friend overheard it from someone I'd told. This girlfriend, whom I wasn't even dating at the time but I PLANNED TO MARRY, called me one night and asked me to come see her after she got off work. She needed to talk to me about "something." We went and sat in my car and she immediately started crying and asked, "Why didn't you TELL me?" I didn't even have to ask what it was. I knew. And I immediately thought, "Well, I can forget about her. Not gonna happen now." Before I had time to think anything else, she was telling me that it didn't matter to her, and it didn't change anything. I was SHOCKED. And AMAZED. My fear turned out to be for NOTHING. But how was I supposed to know it wouldn't matter to her? She already had her children's NAMES picked out! We ultimately did date for about a year, and my infertility had nothing to do with our breakup.
I decided that I didn't want to go through that awful situation again, and that the next time I was even THINKING about getting serious with a girl, I'd tell her up front. So I did. I told the next girl I dated early on that I had a secret, and if she found out about it, she might not want anything to do with me. One night at a church softball game, again sitting in my car, she said she thought she knew my secret, and she guessed it right away. I was thinking, "HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET THAT FROM WHAT I SAID? You weren't thinking "murderer," "felon," "sex-change operation," "toupee . . .???"
Two conversations, two wins for me. I'd worried for years for nothing, so far. But still, I was 25 years old and single, and I didn't want to be 35 years old and still single because everybody knew I couldn't have children. So, I kept my secret to myself.
The third girl I ever got serious with already knew. She's my wife today, but she used to be one of the students in my youth ministry. She's always been tiny, and during her high school years, I wondered if she had a similar problem as me. So I told her my secret and asked if she'd been examined by a doctor. She assured me that she was OK. I also told a few of my other students when there was an appropriate reason, with the assurance that they wouldn't tell anyone. A couple were girls and a couple were guys, and I never INTENDED to tell them, but through some problem I was helping each deal with, my story just related and I thought it would help them.
A few years later when my future wife was no longer one of my students and I stopped seeing her as such, there were no barriers to her pursuing a relationship with me. I didn't have to have one of those scary, intense car conversations. Awesome!
Four years and one day after we were married, we became parents to Katherine Ava. She was born ONE DAY before our anniversary. We were hoping she'd be born ON our anniversary, but she had other plans. We adopted Kate from two teenagers who put the best interests of their baby ahead of their own interests. God led them to select us to raise their daughter. They blessed us with a gift I was unable to give myself, or my wife. I will forever be grateful to them. And as long as it's in Kate's best interests, they'll always be a part of her life.
I have a big regret about my secret. I spent most of the past 15 years PRIMARILY as a youth minister. There are so many applications I could've made with my story, so much good I could've used it for, so many ways I could've potentially impacted more than just 4-5 lives with it. But I was too scared. I was selfish. I was worried about scaring away some beautiful girl who could've been my future wife, while all that time God was working things out in ways I never would've asked for or originally wanted. I have regrets. But after finally being brave enough to tell my church last year, I'm no longer ashamed for people to know the truth about me. The only reason I finally broke and told my story was because I was tired of people assuming that we were adopting because my wife was infertile. I was tired of people asking both of us personal questions and us having to hide the truth. I'm glad I finally got tired of it. And I'm glad I'm no longer scared to tell the real story about why it took me so long to celebrate my first Father's Day as a father.
As a junior in high school, I started the year at 5'3" tall and about 110 pounds. I lied on my driver's license and put 5'4" and 115. Somehow that made me feel better. I'd never really started puberty because the only testosterone my body made was the 20% of a male's total that comes from the adrenal gland. I was a slender, small child and for years I just thought I'd always be that way, but by the time I was 12, my 10-year old brother had passed me in size. It was humiliating and it caused me to resent him.
After 7th grade, I refused to change in front of anyone. I'd always loved sports and P.E. had been my favorite class of the day, but no more. I was scared to death that someone would find out. We moved to Portsmouth, VA the summer before my 10th grade year and for P.E. there, you were docked a point off your final grade for every day you didn't shower (in open showers) after class. I quickly discovered that there were 90 days in a semester, and the best grade I could get was a 10, because I wasn't taking a shower in front of ANYBODY. Awesome. Made me miss Franklin County High School in Carnesville, GA all the more. There, nobody cared if you went to class stinking.
Near the end of my 10th grade year, after my family had moved to SC, I convinced my parents that something was wrong with me and I started seeing doctors. I thought having a younger brother pass me in size was humiliating, but it was NOTHING compared to the exams I was put through. I won't post my official diagnosis to keep the content of this blog PG, but after a few months of blood work, I started taking testosterone in mid-September, 1989. That's about the same time I was sized for my high school class ring - size 8.
All I knew was, that stuff worked! The process that should've taken 3-4 years or more happened to me in less than a year. SUDDENLY, and I do mean suddenly, none of my clothes or shoes fit anymore. I developed an Adam's Apple that has given me shaving fits ever since, and the deeper voice that goes with it. Our class rings arrived around February, and I was completely shocked when my size 8 ring got stuck on my middle knuckle. I had to get it re-sized to a 10, and then later, to a 10.5. In four months, I'd grown about 4 inches taller and about 40 pounds heavier. Talk about AWESOME!
But, growing so quickly caused plenty of problems, too. I tried out for my school's baseball team about that same time - February. I was hitting balls harder than ever before - obviously. I could throw harder. There were about 30 guys trying out and up to half would get cut, so I was going all out. And it was killing me. Never before had physical activity caused me PAIN. My sudden growth was too much for all my connective tissues, and each night after practice, I'd hobble to my room and ice everything down for a couple hours. Each day at school was misery because we had 3 floors and I had classes on each. One day before practice, I went and talked to the coach and told him the real reason I wasn't going to come back. He told me I was going to make the team and that he could really use me, so I kept trying for a couple days. And then I told him I just couldn't do it. I was heartbroken. Baseball was the only organized sport I'd ever played, I was pretty good at it, and playing high school baseball had always been a dream.
My growth slowed over the next year, and I graduated at 5'9" and about 175 pounds. A few people at school actually accused me of taking steroids. I asked them how stupid they were, because steroids don't make anybody grow 6" TALLER. But, it was obvious that SOMETHING had happened. I had some weights at home and used them often even though I didn't really know what I was doing, but my body-type is mesomorph and I had natural muscle. Again, it was AWESOME!
That sounds like a happy ending, and the growth was great, but I was still dealing with the fact that I'd never have biological children. When my doctor told me that part, I started crying. And I didn't stop for a while. He tried to console me with humor: "Just think, you can have all the sex you want and you won't have to worry about getting anybody pregnant!" That didn't even make me smile. I was a committed Christian, absolutely determined to have sex with my wife and only my wife. My wife.
My wife was on my mind from that point on, and thinking about her scared me to death. This is the hard part of my diagnosis, if you haven't figured it out. I'd always loved being around children, especially babies, and they seemed to like me, too. I just expected to have 3-4 of my own in the future. With my wife. But with my PROBLEM, I didn't think anybody would ever want me after they found out. So I guarded my secret. I absolutely HAD to tell my closest MALE friends, and a few adults (male and female) who had become mentors to me. I went to the doctor twice a month for injections, and it grew increasingly difficult to hide all those doctor visits, or the yellow doctor's receipts that I sometimes forgot to remove from my car. These receipts had big, dark handwriting on them that said, "Testosterone Injection."
But I hid it from girls. The first girl I ever loved found out accidentally from a friend of ours at church. The friend overheard it from someone I'd told. This girlfriend, whom I wasn't even dating at the time but I PLANNED TO MARRY, called me one night and asked me to come see her after she got off work. She needed to talk to me about "something." We went and sat in my car and she immediately started crying and asked, "Why didn't you TELL me?" I didn't even have to ask what it was. I knew. And I immediately thought, "Well, I can forget about her. Not gonna happen now." Before I had time to think anything else, she was telling me that it didn't matter to her, and it didn't change anything. I was SHOCKED. And AMAZED. My fear turned out to be for NOTHING. But how was I supposed to know it wouldn't matter to her? She already had her children's NAMES picked out! We ultimately did date for about a year, and my infertility had nothing to do with our breakup.
I decided that I didn't want to go through that awful situation again, and that the next time I was even THINKING about getting serious with a girl, I'd tell her up front. So I did. I told the next girl I dated early on that I had a secret, and if she found out about it, she might not want anything to do with me. One night at a church softball game, again sitting in my car, she said she thought she knew my secret, and she guessed it right away. I was thinking, "HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET THAT FROM WHAT I SAID? You weren't thinking "murderer," "felon," "sex-change operation," "toupee . . .???"
Two conversations, two wins for me. I'd worried for years for nothing, so far. But still, I was 25 years old and single, and I didn't want to be 35 years old and still single because everybody knew I couldn't have children. So, I kept my secret to myself.
The third girl I ever got serious with already knew. She's my wife today, but she used to be one of the students in my youth ministry. She's always been tiny, and during her high school years, I wondered if she had a similar problem as me. So I told her my secret and asked if she'd been examined by a doctor. She assured me that she was OK. I also told a few of my other students when there was an appropriate reason, with the assurance that they wouldn't tell anyone. A couple were girls and a couple were guys, and I never INTENDED to tell them, but through some problem I was helping each deal with, my story just related and I thought it would help them.
A few years later when my future wife was no longer one of my students and I stopped seeing her as such, there were no barriers to her pursuing a relationship with me. I didn't have to have one of those scary, intense car conversations. Awesome!
Four years and one day after we were married, we became parents to Katherine Ava. She was born ONE DAY before our anniversary. We were hoping she'd be born ON our anniversary, but she had other plans. We adopted Kate from two teenagers who put the best interests of their baby ahead of their own interests. God led them to select us to raise their daughter. They blessed us with a gift I was unable to give myself, or my wife. I will forever be grateful to them. And as long as it's in Kate's best interests, they'll always be a part of her life.
I have a big regret about my secret. I spent most of the past 15 years PRIMARILY as a youth minister. There are so many applications I could've made with my story, so much good I could've used it for, so many ways I could've potentially impacted more than just 4-5 lives with it. But I was too scared. I was selfish. I was worried about scaring away some beautiful girl who could've been my future wife, while all that time God was working things out in ways I never would've asked for or originally wanted. I have regrets. But after finally being brave enough to tell my church last year, I'm no longer ashamed for people to know the truth about me. The only reason I finally broke and told my story was because I was tired of people assuming that we were adopting because my wife was infertile. I was tired of people asking both of us personal questions and us having to hide the truth. I'm glad I finally got tired of it. And I'm glad I'm no longer scared to tell the real story about why it took me so long to celebrate my first Father's Day as a father.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Why I Never Take A Bath
From Robert J. Morgan's My All in All, March 5
Hebrews 10:24-25 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
Morgan writes:
I once saw a brochure that said, "Why I never Take a Bath."
1. I was forced to bathe as a child.
2. People who bathe are hypocrites; they think they're cleaner than others.
3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which is best.
4. It's boring.
5. I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
6. The soap makers are only after your money.
7. The last time I bathed, someone was rude to me.
8. I'm too dirty to get clean; I'd clog up the drain.
9. I'll bathe only when I find a bathroom exactly right for me.
10. I can watch other people bathing on television.
11. I can bathe at the golf course.
12. The bathroom is never the right temperature and I don't like the sound of the plumbing.
The Lord Jesus established His church to carry on His work till He comes again. There's never been an organization like it and never will be again. It has a limited engagement on earth; it began on Pentecost and will end at the Rapture. It's not perfect, but it has changed the world.
Don't stay away, but encourage others by your involvement - and all the more as you see the day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
Morgan writes:
I once saw a brochure that said, "Why I never Take a Bath."
1. I was forced to bathe as a child.
2. People who bathe are hypocrites; they think they're cleaner than others.
3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which is best.
4. It's boring.
5. I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
6. The soap makers are only after your money.
7. The last time I bathed, someone was rude to me.
8. I'm too dirty to get clean; I'd clog up the drain.
9. I'll bathe only when I find a bathroom exactly right for me.
10. I can watch other people bathing on television.
11. I can bathe at the golf course.
12. The bathroom is never the right temperature and I don't like the sound of the plumbing.
The Lord Jesus established His church to carry on His work till He comes again. There's never been an organization like it and never will be again. It has a limited engagement on earth; it began on Pentecost and will end at the Rapture. It's not perfect, but it has changed the world.
Don't stay away, but encourage others by your involvement - and all the more as you see the day approaching.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Health Risks Associated With A Lack Of Fitness - Understanding Fitness Part C
If all the benefits of fitness aren't motivation for you to get/keep fit, maybe the fear that comes from reading about the RISKS that are associated with a LACK of fitness will be.
If it were only that easy for us to GET MOTIVATED . . .
How many middle-aged people are suffering with knee, hip, and lower back problems? It's reasonable to assume that most of these people aren't suffering because of time spent in a war or on a sports field, but from a lack of fitness. Lower back pain is VERY common in the United States. Know the main reason why? Because Americans are OVERWEIGHT AND UNFIT.
PREVENT, ALLEVIATE, or REDUCE these kinds of pain by GETTING FIT. And I don't mean start JOGGING OR WALKING. Fitness requires SOME SORT OF STRENGTH TRAINING. I'll post on that later, and it's probably not what you think. In the meantime, if you have questions, ask me.
If it were only that easy for us to GET MOTIVATED . . .
How many middle-aged people are suffering with knee, hip, and lower back problems? It's reasonable to assume that most of these people aren't suffering because of time spent in a war or on a sports field, but from a lack of fitness. Lower back pain is VERY common in the United States. Know the main reason why? Because Americans are OVERWEIGHT AND UNFIT.
PREVENT, ALLEVIATE, or REDUCE these kinds of pain by GETTING FIT. And I don't mean start JOGGING OR WALKING. Fitness requires SOME SORT OF STRENGTH TRAINING. I'll post on that later, and it's probably not what you think. In the meantime, if you have questions, ask me.
Health Risks Associated With A Lack
of Fitness
Being
overweight has serious consequences, and not just cosmetically or
aesthetically. It kills. God did not design us to be overweight. Approximately three hundred thousand deaths
per year are directly related to obesity.
Carrying just ten pounds too many can shorten life expectancy, reason
enough for every good steward to begin taking action steps toward fitness.
The
first health risk is not a disease, but a law that allows all the other health
risks to occur: the Law of Adaptation. Over
time, the body adapts to the stresses imposed on it by whatever environment it
is in and by whatever situations it regularly faces. People all over the world
have adapted to the climate, germs, altitude, workload, and food of their
area. With the Law of Adaptation, as the
body adapts to certain stresses, it un-adapts to opposing stresses. People from warm climates are not prepared
for cold weather, and vice versa. This
is true of the indigenous people of each area, but it is also true in the
short-term. The author has a missionary
friend from South Carolina. He and his
family served for three years in Africa, and upon returning home, it took them
a while not to feel cold in the South Carolina summer, which generally means
daily highs of around ninety degrees. Describing
the Law of Adaptation, Ben Lerner teaches, “In the case of exercise, if you
participate in a regular fitness program, the forces you apply will cause you
to adapt and get stronger, leaner, and healthier. If you rarely move, however, the lack of
forces will cause you to adapt and get weaker, fatter, and sicker.”
Atrophy
is a result of the Law of Adaptation principle of “use it or lose it.” Atrophy is the loss of muscle. Anyone who has broken an arm or leg has seen
the results of atrophy. When the cast is
removed just a few weeks later, the muscles are always smaller because they
could not be moved or exercised. This is
a “classic example of resource allocation.
If your body knows you are using crutches instead of quadriceps then it
figures, ‘Forget this, I’ll put my energy elsewhere.’ This process of muscle loss does not occur
just from a complete lack of movement.
Atrophy happens naturally as people age.
Kenneth Cooper warns that without a regular program of strength
exercises,
a steady loss of muscle mass will
inevitably occur after about age thirty.
By some estimates, there’s a 3 to 5 percent loss of muscle mass every
ten years, beginning between age thirty to forty. Some experts say that the total loss of
muscle mass between ages thirty and seventy may be as high as 30 to 40 percent,
or an average of 10 percent every ten years during this period. After age seventy, as most people become more
sedentary, the loss of muscle mass may accelerate.
Atrophy
is a general health hazard because it slows metabolism. Metabolism will be discussed in greater
detail in Chapter Three: The Connection Between Diet and Fitness, but since
muscle burns calories, a loss of muscle results in a loss of calorie burning
ability. Unburned calories are stored as
body fat. As people lose muscle from a
lack of exercise, they get weaker, but at the same time, they get fatter and
heavier. This combination of reduced
strength and increased size brings an escalation of unfitness and health
risks.
While
women naturally store excess fat on their hips and thighs, men naturally store
it in the worst possible place: the abdomen.
Excess abdominal fat is associated with an increased risk of coronary
artery disease, elevated triglycerides, hypertension, and cancer. Both unfit
men and women are at a greater risk for a variety of diseases and health
problems, including heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, high
triglycerides, high “bad” cholesterol (LDL), low “good” cholesterol (HDL – high
density lipoprotein), and inflamed blood vessels.
A
definition of triglycerides is necessary because it is not as commonly
understood as cholesterol. Triglycerides
are a type of fat found in blood. The
body converts any calories it does not need into triglycerides and stores them
as fat cells. Because triglycerides
cannot dissolve in blood, they circulate throughout the body until they are
stored. High triglycerides may
contribute to hardening of the arteries or thickening of the artery walls,
which ultimately results in stroke or heart attack.
Type
II diabetes is another health risk from a lack of fitness, and to no surprise,
it is most common in the United States.
Type I diabetes, also known as juvenile diabetes, is the result of the
pancreas not producing insulin. It usually
starts in childhood and may be present at birth, but it most often results from
an autoimmune reaction in which the pancreas is affected by a virus. Type II diabetes occurs when the pancreas
produces too little insulin or when the body has built a resistance to insulin
and is no longer as effective at using sugar for energy. Type II diabetes represents 90 percent of all
diabetes cases, and it is linked directly to poor diet and a sedentary
lifestyle. Eighty percent of people with this disease are overweight.
A
sedentary individual who never exercises sometimes experiences higher blood
sugar levels. With a diet of excessive
carbohydrates like refined sugar and processed flour, blood-sugar will start to
rise simply because the body becomes resistant to the high amounts of sugar in
the blood. Insulin is no longer
effective enough to keep up with all the excess carbohydrates, and the body has
no other way to burn all the sugar in the blood.
Exercise
counters this problem. Healthy,
conditioned muscles have the capacity to quickly select their fuel source
(sugar or fat) during times of fasting or feeding. Untrained muscles are more insulin resistant
and are unable to use sugar efficiently for energy even with insulin
present. Tom P. Hafer says, “Think of
unexercised muscles as having less ability to use the energy source they
have. That is why the more you exercise
the better you are at utilizing calories - and the less likely you are to
develop Type II diabetes.”
Being
overweight also raises the risk for several types of cancer, including
esophageal cancer, uterine cancer, postmenopausal breast cancer, and kidney
cancer. Cancer is the second leading
cause of death in the United States. One
possible link between these cancers and being overweight is that fat cells make
hormones that might affect cell growth.
Osteoporosis
is a bone disease characterized by brittle and porous bones that break easily
and result in such deformities as the outwardly curved upper spine known as
“dowager’s hump.” These conditions can
be debilitating and even fatal. By the
age of seventy, a third of all women and a sixth of all men will suffer a hip
fracture. Osteoporosis is best combated with strength training, not calcium
supplements. Strength training builds
bone and “the most effective prevention of osteoporosis is early rigorous
exercise that includes weight-bearing and some sort of weight lifting.”
Carrying
too much weight causes osteoarthritis, a joint disorder in which the tissues
that protect joints, bones, and cartilage gradually wear away. The most commonly affected areas are the
knees, hips, and the lower back. The
more weight people carry, the more pressure they put on their joints and
cartilage.
For
those who already suffer from arthritis, exercise is the remedy. Once pain appears in any joint, exercising
the joint to replenish it with nutrients should always be the first treatment
choice. Cartilage has a poor blood
supply and gets its nutrients from synovial fluid inside the joint. It is actual joint movement that allows the
joint to become flexible. Compression
forces the joint fluids to rebuild and repair the joint. Hafer compares this joint process to working
taffy. As cold and brittle taffy is
worked (pulled), it warms up and becomes pliable. The initial joint pain from exercise can
cause a person to stop out of fear that something is wrong, but movement is
normally exactly what the joint needs.
Unfit
and overweight bodies produce more cholesterol that can cause fat buildup in
the liver. The extra cholesterol often
develops into solid clusters in the gallbladder known as gallstones. The fatty accumulation in the liver causes
inflammation and scarring, which can then cause cirrhosis, even among those who
are not heavy drinkers. As a side note, gallstones often develop in people who
lose a lot of weight quickly (more than three pounds per week) and people who
try very low-calorie diets. Therefore,
modest, consistent weight loss of up to two pounds per week is the recommended
goal.
Sleep
apnea is the final health risk to be discussed.
Sleep apnea is not the same as snoring or even heavy snoring; it occurs
when a person stops breathing for short periods during sleep. The results are daytime sleepiness,
difficulty concentrating, increased blood pressure, and even heart
failure. Weight loss helps this
condition by decreasing neck size and air passage inflammation.
Friday, June 1, 2012
John Deere Green
When I went to pick Kate up after work yesterday, I saw my Dad on the lawn mower going away from me. As I got closer, I could tell that he was leaning to the left, like he was trying to hold on to something. He turned the mower around and what he was holding was Kate!
Last week I rode Kate on our OLD mower for about two minutes, just across the yard as I put it up. She enjoyed it, but she enjoys lots of stuff. (The picture and video in this post is of her on our old lawnmower.)
But she REALLY enjoyed riding on the John Deere mower with my Dad. They'd already cut about 1/3 of the yard, so she'd been riding for a while. Daddy said that at first, she was content to ride, but eventually, she had to STEER.
Normally when I arrive to pick her up, no matter what she's doing, she lights up and reaches for me. Not this time. She knew I was there to get her and she didn't want to go. Instead of reaching for me, she clutched herself to Daddy and started whining. When I took her from Daddy, she started crying. I tossed her in the air a few times to distract her and started to leave, but as I was opening the truck door to put her in her car seat, Daddy started the mower up again. And the crying started all over again!
Let's just say, I know what we'll probably get Kate for Christmas in the next year or two. Also, I'm going to ENCOURAGE the grass cutting. I don't plan to raise a daughter that won't cut grass just because she's a girl. Kate's going to know how to do things that some people think aren't "girly," but in a real world, they're basic necessities. Not every girl gets married the moment they leave their parents' house, therefore, not every girl will always have a MAN around to do "manly" stuff - which also includes stuff like, for the car, checking fluid levels, tire pressure, and knowing how to change a flat tire. Cooking meat on a grill is also a NECESSITY.
Getting dirty doesn't make a girl un-girly. Getting dirty and never taking a bath? That's a different story. I've been in youth ministry at least part-time since 1997. Trust me: it's not just middle school boys that think getting in the pool is the only bath they need on a week-long retreat or mission trip.
I WILL say that my wife couldn't change a flat tire on her SUV b/c she can't lift the spare! But, she knows HOW. She watches me do it every time I change the oil and rotate the tires on our cars. And she just reminded me that when she was a little girl and shared a go-cart with her sister, she learned how to do all the maintenance on it. I didn't know I had a lawnmower mechanic under our roof. I'll have to make a note of that.
BTW, don't make fun of the outfit. I'm CUTTING GRASS! And the tall socks? If you had a Husqvarna commercial string trimmer (weedeater), you'd wear some leather CHAPS when you used it.
Last week I rode Kate on our OLD mower for about two minutes, just across the yard as I put it up. She enjoyed it, but she enjoys lots of stuff. (The picture and video in this post is of her on our old lawnmower.)
But she REALLY enjoyed riding on the John Deere mower with my Dad. They'd already cut about 1/3 of the yard, so she'd been riding for a while. Daddy said that at first, she was content to ride, but eventually, she had to STEER.
Normally when I arrive to pick her up, no matter what she's doing, she lights up and reaches for me. Not this time. She knew I was there to get her and she didn't want to go. Instead of reaching for me, she clutched herself to Daddy and started whining. When I took her from Daddy, she started crying. I tossed her in the air a few times to distract her and started to leave, but as I was opening the truck door to put her in her car seat, Daddy started the mower up again. And the crying started all over again!
Let's just say, I know what we'll probably get Kate for Christmas in the next year or two. Also, I'm going to ENCOURAGE the grass cutting. I don't plan to raise a daughter that won't cut grass just because she's a girl. Kate's going to know how to do things that some people think aren't "girly," but in a real world, they're basic necessities. Not every girl gets married the moment they leave their parents' house, therefore, not every girl will always have a MAN around to do "manly" stuff - which also includes stuff like, for the car, checking fluid levels, tire pressure, and knowing how to change a flat tire. Cooking meat on a grill is also a NECESSITY.
Getting dirty doesn't make a girl un-girly. Getting dirty and never taking a bath? That's a different story. I've been in youth ministry at least part-time since 1997. Trust me: it's not just middle school boys that think getting in the pool is the only bath they need on a week-long retreat or mission trip.
I WILL say that my wife couldn't change a flat tire on her SUV b/c she can't lift the spare! But, she knows HOW. She watches me do it every time I change the oil and rotate the tires on our cars. And she just reminded me that when she was a little girl and shared a go-cart with her sister, she learned how to do all the maintenance on it. I didn't know I had a lawnmower mechanic under our roof. I'll have to make a note of that.
BTW, don't make fun of the outfit. I'm CUTTING GRASS! And the tall socks? If you had a Husqvarna commercial string trimmer (weedeater), you'd wear some leather CHAPS when you used it.
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