"Did You Have A Good Christmas?"

"Did you have a good Christmas?"  That's the go-to question for the week following Christmas Day.  For that week, it replaces talking about the weather for casual encounters - with the clerk at the Post Office or the bank, with the server at your favorite restaurant, with the people at church the following Sunday.

I stopped asking that question years ago because I realized how DUMB it is.  Just read it and think about it. Go ahead.  Think it through.

What is Christmas?  Right, the celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  For Christians, how is it possible to have a bad celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ?

See, it's a DUMB question, isn't it!  (I'm not asking you a question.  See, I ended that sentence with an exclamation point, not a question mark.)

I understand that some people could actually have a BAD CHRISTMAS DAY, a BAD DECEMBER 25th.  I'm know some people experienced terrible stuff like house fires, traffic accidents, deaths in the family, and other negative events.  But for Christians who experienced negative stuff like this on Christmas, all they had was a BAD DAY, not a "BAD CHRISTMAS."

I also imagine that some people ask the question and mean, "Did you get a lot of stuff?  Did you get what you wanted?", like that's the most important thing.

Some people are very lonely at Christmas.  (But in spite of this, it's a MYTH that more people commit suicide than at any other time of year -  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201212/is-suicide-more-common-christmas-time )  Most of us have probably spent at least one Christmas WITHOUT someone we love, or WITH a broken heart over a breakup, or after the recent death of a family member, or in another state because of a move.  We see other families all together, drive ways full of cars from out of town, and a constant barrage of feel-good Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel (where every movie ends just the way you wanted it to!), and we feel an emotional emptiness.  But the truth is, nothing has changed from two weeks before when we were feeling fine.

When we focus on those kinds of things instead of Jesus, it's not just CHRISTMAS DAY that's a letdown!

Here's a good way to answer that question next time you're asked: "Of course I had a great time celebrating Jesus' birth!  Didn't you?"  (Yes, in spite of not getting a new car, iPad, engagement ring, riding mower.  Yes, in spite of this being my first Christmas without ____________.  Yes, in spite of moving to lovely Minnesota.  Yes, in spite of ____________ breaking up with me last month . . .)

*If you live in Minnesota, no offense.  It's the first cold state that popped into my mind.  I could've said New York.  Or North Dakota.  Or South Dakota.  Or Michigan, Ohio . . .)

An Indescribable Gift

My message from Sunday, December 16.  The manuscript is below.

When I talked about never receiving an earthly gift that was truly indescribable, I remembered a picture from Christmas 1978 when I got a Stretch Monster.  It came to me as I was talking, so it's not included in the manuscript.  Here's an old commercial for Stretch Monster .

I haven't seen this picture in over 20 years, but I remember this.  This week I asked my mom about this picture.  She looked through boxes of pictures and found it.  She lives in Indiana, so she took a picture of the picture with her phone and texted it to me.  This is as excited as I ever remember getting, and it's why I included it in my message on Sunday!  Notice the awesome Green Machine in the back.  Here's a commercial for the Green Machine .  Oh how great were the toys in the 70's!

AN INDESCRIBABLE GIFT

2 Corinthians 9:15

2 Corinthians 9:15  Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (NIV)

Thank God for this gift too wonderful for words! (NLT)

Don’t these words sound PERFECTLY CHRISTMAS-Y?  It might surprise you to find that 2 Corinthians 9 is about an offering Paul had been collecting during his third missionary journey for the Jerusalem Christians.  The Corinthians had promised to contribute, but they’d failed to follow through.  Paul was encouraging them to make good on their promise, and he closed his plea by reminding them about GOD’S GIFT TO US, which should’ve been very motivating!

Have you ever received a gift that was too great for words?  The greatest and most expensive gift I ever GAVE was an engagement ring to Kelley.  It was one of the best moments of my life.  But it wasn’t INDESCRIBABLE!  We described it to everybody!  We put it on Facebook!

I got over all the gifts I ever received, no matter how great they were.  I no longer feel the same about the bicycles, video games, guns, baseball gloves, clothing, shoes, tools, TV, golf clubs . . . . But anyone who TRULY UNDERSTANDS what God has done for us CAN NEVER GET OVER IT.  Yes, we can put some words around the significance of the Cross, what Jesus means to us, and what He’s done for us, BUT OUR WORDS ARE LIMITED BY OUR EARTHLY PERSPECTIVE!  We don’t REALLY understand what we’ve been given, and we won’t until we see Jesus in heaven.

Four Reasons God’s gift is INDESCRIBABLE:

1.  GOD’S GIFT IS PERSONAL

Don’t you love those Christmas cards you receive from the car dealership, your dentist, and your insurance agent?  It’s great that they think of their customers at Christmas, but do those card make it to your fridge?  The fridge space is VALUABLE; it’s reserved for people you love, the cards with personal notes and pictures!

Have you ever received an unexpected gift that was JUST WHAT YOU WOULD’VE ASKED FOR? Somebody has to KNOW YOU to give you a gift like that.  They don’t have to give you an Outback Gift Card, AS GREAT AS THOSE ARE! 

When we went to Wears Valley Ranch to hand-deliver Christmas presents to 26 children, it was a PERSONAL experience.  We already knew most of the kids and WVR staff, and they were excited to see us.  We played KICKBALL!  And then we gave every kid a personal card with $100 inside.  As they opened their cards in unison, there was a delayed reaction, and then laughter, smiles, tears, and exclamations like, “I’ve never even SEEN a $100 bill!”  We’d never met one 13-year old boy who hadn’t been at the Ranch very long.  He hugged me so hard it hurt and said, “I just met you but I love you!  Thank you!”

Mailing the cards would’ve been cheaper.  We wouldn’t have had to miss school/work and it wouldn’t have changed the monetary value of our gift, but it would’ve changed the PERSONAL VALUE.  Long after all that money is spent, the memory of that day will remain for all of us.

Try to consider just how PERSONAL God’s gift is.  He gave up His DIVINE Son so that we SINFUL HUMANS could become HIS CHILDREN.  It was PERSONAL for God all the way around!

Galatians 4:4-7  But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. ⁵ God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.  ⁶ And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.”  ⁷ Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.

2.  GOD’S GIFT IS USEFUL

One Christmas a lady made a short and simple wish list and stuck it to the fridge.  All it said was, “I want something that will make me look slim and beautiful.”  On Christmas morning, she couldn’t wait to see what her husband picked out, hoping it was just the right size, color, and fit.  But the box was really big and when she opened it she found an exercise bike.

God didn’t give us something ORNAMENTAL to sit on a shelf.  He didn’t give us something only to be used for SPECIAL OCCASIONS like Christmas and Easter.  He didn’t give us something for EMERGENCIES only, hoping we’d never even have to use it (like a handgun or flood insurance).

You know how it feels when you find something that used to be important to you, and you didn’t even know you’d lost it?  Like, you discover a pair of boots in the back of the closet, and think, “Man, I forgot I even had these!  They sure would’ve come in handy last year in that snow storm!”  We’ll KNOW that we TRULY have a relationship with Jesus when we stop having that kind of experience with Jesus. 

If Jesus doesn’t affect every day of our lives, we obviously aren’t very close to Him at all.  GOD’S GIFT IS PRACTICAL!  Salvation COMPLETELY CHANGES who we are, how we operate, who we serve, and where we’re going.  If Jesus isn’t DOMINATING your life, are you really comfortable claiming to know and love Him?

3.  GOD’S GIFT IS ETERNAL

Do you still have your favorite presents from childhood?  Do you even REMEMBER them?  Eventually, even our most favorite gifts get forgotten, replaced, outgrown, worn out, used up, lost, outdated, or broken.  But God’s gift is permanent.  Salvation NEVER ENDS.    

Is it possible for Christians to move away from Jesus?  Absolutely.  Every time we sin, we have to turn away from God to do it.  But do our sins SEPARATE us from God?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  When we sin, we break FELLOWSHIP with God, but not our RELATIONSIP with Him.  NOTHING CAN SEPARATE US FROM GOD’S LOVE! 

Romans 8:39a And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.

Hebrews 7:25  Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf.

Hebrews 10:10  For God’s will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time.

But what about all those people who claim to be Christians but live any old way they want?  Does THAT prove that we can LOSE our salvation? 

No.  That proves that, JUST LIKE JESUS WARNED, many people who claim to be Christians AREN’T.  The Bible doesn’t teach that believers can move away from Jesus for such an extended period of time that they no longer think about Him or experience conviction.  If that describes you, here’s your safest bet: surrender to Jesus.  If you did something in the past that you were able to STOP, it sounds like what happened was a work of YOU and not a work of GOD. 

God’s gift of salvation begins when we SURRENDER to Him, and lasts ETERNALLY. 

4.  GOD’S GIFT IS COSTLY

I heard about a grandmother who didn’t know what to give her three grandchildren for Christmas.  She decided to send them each a card and a $50 check, and she wrote in each card, “Buy your own gift!”  A few days later she found three $50 checks under the newspaper on her kitchen table.  Her grandchildren were shocked when they received empty cards that said, “BUY YOUR OWN GIFT!”

If a gift doesn’t cost the giver anything, doesn’t it diminish the gift?  The cost doesn’t have to be MONEY.  A perfect gift can be purchased with time, energy, talent, creativity, thought, etc.  For a gift to be MEANINGFUL, we just need to know that the giver was INVESTED.  If Kelley gave me a bag of dirt for Christmas, it wouldn’t mean a thing to me.  But if she said she broke into Sanford Stadium and dug that bag of dirt from the end zone, it’d be the best gift ever! 

There’s never been a more costly gift than Jesus, and there’s never been a more invested giver than God. 

John 3:16  “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

Isaiah 53:5  But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins.  He was beaten so we could be whole.  He was whipped so we could be healed.

This Christmas, let’s not lose sight of these facts.  And even as we celebrate the BIRTH of our Savior, let’s keep in mind that His birth was just the beginning of His earthly mission: it ENDED with the Cross. 

God always knew what creating mankind would COST Him.  And He created us anyway.

2 Corinthians 9:15  Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (NIV)

So You're Telling Me There's A Chance!

I haven't posted anything in a while, so I'll share an exciting turn of events that happened this past weekend.  It's exciting for me, anyway.

I'm a Georgia fan.  My family moved to Lavonia, GA in February 1981.  I was in the 2nd grade, and to that point, the only sports team I cared anything about was the Dallas Cowboys.  I didn't have any reason to care about college football.  My Dad liked Dallas and that's why I was a fan.  The only college game I'd ever paid attention to was the 1979 Peach Bowl.  All I remember was that the local team, Clemson, was playing some team called the Baylor Bears.  And apparently, lots of people where we lived at the time, Upstate South Carolina, liked Clemson.  But Clemson lost that game.  I had no reason to be impressed or attached.  Had they won, my life as a fan might have taken a much different path.

Back to 1981: When we moved to Georgia, I saw Georgia Bulldog stuff EVERYWHERE.  Stuff like this:

 

My elementary school sold Georgia Bulldog pencils, notebooks, etc.  I still have one of the pencils - unsharpened an unused - and it's about 30 years old.  See, less than two months before we moved to Lavonia, Georgia had just beaten Notre Dame in the Sugar Bowl for the 1980 National Championship.  And they had this freshman running back named Herschel Walker who had taken the sports world by storm.  He was the man, and he was the main reason for Georgia's success.  Georgia coaches said they had three basic plays: Herschel left, Herschel right, and Herschel up the middle.

I was a 7-year old kid with a natural affinity for sports, so I was quickly overtaken by the Georgia storm.  All my friends at my church and my school were Georgia fans.

I thought Georgia was supposed to win all the time, so I didn't think anything about missing out on the 1980 National Championship season.  I watched my first Georgia games that fall.  Not many games were on TV back then, so I actually listened on radio, saw a few highlights on the local news, and read the sports page.

The very first game I actually remember listening to was the third game of the 1981 season.  We were in Anderson, SC visiting my grandparents that day, and I laid in the back of our station wagon and listened as we drove to and from Anderson.  Georgia lost to Clemson 13-3.  My first Georgia game memory is a heartbreaking loss to the eventual 1981 National Champions.  The rest of that season was the stuff I had expected, and they finished 10-1, ranked 2nd, and played Pittsburg in the Sugar Bowl.  A second straight national championship was within reach, but it required a Georgia win and a loss by #1 Clemson to Nebraska in the Orange Bowl.  Some people from our church came to our house that night and brought their TV.  We set it beside our TV and watched BOTH games at the same time.  Both games were close and exciting, and we were ready to celebrate.  Instead, I cried.  Literally.  Georgia lost on a last-second TD pass by some guy named Dan Marino, and Clemson beat Nebraska 22-15.  1981 was the year I learned to HATE the Clemson Tigers, even though they were just 30 minutes east from my house.

But 8 months later brought another season, another chance at glory. Herschel was now a junior and was expected to win the Heisman Trophy after just missing out the previous two years.  Georgia started the 1982 season on Labor Day night at home versus, yep, the Clemson Tigers.  The week before the game, Georgia fans woke up to a shocking headline, "Walker Breaks Thumb: Out For Clemson."  Without Herschel, this season looked ready to start out like the 1981 season ended.  Herschel did manage to play - a little - in that game, with a big cast on his arm that made holding the ball difficult.  He carried the ball 10 times for 20 yards - his worse collegiate performance ever - but Georgia managed a 13-7 win and all was again right in my world.

The rest of that season was a dream.  The Dawgs destroyed the hated Florida Gators 44-0 and finished the regular season undefeated and ranked #1.  Herschel won the Heisman Trophy.  THIS IS HOW I THOUGHT BEING A GEORGIA FAN WAS SUPPOSED TO FEEL.  Now I was going to get to EXPERIENCE a National Championship, not just hear about one.  Georgia played #2 Penn State in the Sugar Bowl for all the marbles.  I had no doubts who would win.  No big deal.  Just give us the trophy.  But that's not how it went.  Penn State scored first and had a 20-3 lead in the second quarter.  I fought back tears.  Georgia scored to make it 20-10 at the half, and then Herschel scored in the 3rd to make it 20-17, and I figured it was only a matter of time before we were ahead and . . . then Penn State scored on a long bomb and a diving catch into the end zone to go up 27-17 (Todd Blackledge and Greg Garrity, I've never forgiven you).  Georgia scored again, went for 2 so that a FG would WIN instead of TIE, didn't make the 2-pt conversion.  Georgia had a kicker named Kevin Butler with a big leg (as Clemson found out in 1984 when he made a 60-yard fg as time expired to beat the Tigers in Athens).  So we kicked off, hoping to get the ball back with enough time to attempt a field goal.  And we never got the ball back.  Game and dreams over.

That was January 1, 1983, and until this weekend, that's the last time Georgia controlled its own destiny for the National Championship.  It's been a long 30 years.

Back to this past weekend: Georgia was ranked #5 behind #4 Alabama, #3 Notre Dame, #2 Oregon, and #1 Kansas State.  Two of those top 3 teams had to lose at some point in the next few weeks for Georgia to have a shot at something besides just a great season.  Georgia and Alabama will meet in the SEC Championship game (assuming a Bama win over Auburn this week), so they can control that part.  But hoping 2 of those other 3 teams lose?  Good luck.

And it happened.  #1 Kansas State got destroyed by a 4-5 Baylor team (thank you again, Baylor!  You kept me from possibly becoming a Clemson fan back in 1979, and now you opened a door for the Dawgs in 2012!).  #2 Oregon and their unstoppable offense managed just 14 points versus Stanford and lost 17-14 in OT.  In a matter of minutes (both games ended within an hour of each other), FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE JANUARY 1, 1983, Georgia has a straight path to the National Championship and it's completely in their own hands.  No more scoreboard watching hoping other teams lose.  Win 3 games and they're the champs.

I'll be able to look back at this in a few weeks and tell you where/how it all went wrong, but as I type this, I'm a happy Georgia fan.  The Dawgs may lose to Georgia Tech next week and kill the dream.  Or they may beat Tech and then lose to almighty Alabama in the SEC title game.  That's what everybody (even some Georgia fans) expect.  Or they may win both of those and lose the BIG GAME to Notre Dame or whoever it's going to be.

But right now, in the words of Lloyd Christmas in the movie Dumb N Dumber, "So you're telling me there's a chance" that for the first time in my life as a Georgia fan, my Dawgs can be National Champions.

With all this said, aren't you glad your eternity isn't like being a fan of some team?

New Kids On The Block

Kate has been saying "Ewwwwwwwwwwwww" and "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" a lot lately, and the other day I found myself singing to her:

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohOh, oh, oh, oh
She smiled and tried to copy me so I kept going:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohThe right stuff
She loved it!  You must know that I don't sing in front of people.  Kelley wasn't home, and yes, Kate is a person, but she doesn't count!   She doesn't care how bad I sound and she smiles, claps, and tries her best to sing along.
The next night I did it after I fed her and she started bouncing in her high chair.  So I plugged my iPod into the sound system and played the real song for her.  She danced the entire time, sort of bobbing up and down.  
Here's the video to the song (the year was 1989).  Sorry, there's a 15 second advertisement.  And I'm not embarrassed to say that I owned the tape "Hangin' Tough."  And I have a few of their songs on my iPod.  And Backstreet Boys.  And NSYNC.  And 98 Degrees.

Kate - Guarani Indian

A few weeks ago we had a visit with Kate's birth mother and birth grandfather.  While the birth mother played with Kate, I spoke with the birth grandfather.  He told us more details about Kate's birth mother, who was adopted, herself, out of Paraguay as a baby.  She is 100% Guarani Indian.  We knew she was native Paraguayan, but we didn't know what that officially is.

So, Kate is 1/2 Guarani Indian.  For the next several days I asked Kate, "Are you a Guarani Indian?" and she'd EMPHATICALLY shake her head no, as if she knew what I was asking her.  Then she stopped doing it.  It was so funny, like she didn't want to acknowledge her background!  But she just stopped doing it, and I wished I'd recorded it.

A few days ago in the car, I tried it again and recorded with my phone just in case.  Here's what I got.  You may not think it's funny, but this is my blog and I do!

What Are You Reading?

I haven't posted anything in over a month.  I've been too busy reading.  I have lunch with a good friend, Ken Vickery, about once per month.  We discuss sports and life, but also ministry and what we're reading.  Ken was my pastor for a year as I served as his youth pastor.

I've always been impressed with Ken's READING, and without him even knowing it, he pushed/challenged me to read.  During the year I worked with Ken, I was in seminary and HAD to read constantly.  I had so many ASSIGNED books that I never got to read stuff I CHOSE to read, but also, much of what I read was simply to get it done and complete the assignment involved.  Even with the books I enjoyed, I didn't take the time to absorb the material because there were always several more books waiting to be read and written about.

Not long after starting as Ken's youth pastor, he walked in my office and checked out my library of books.  I think his opinion of me became a little inflated because of some of the books he saw.  He asked, "Have you read all of these?"  I said, "Most of them.  I didn't have a choice."  He then told me how many of them he also had in his library.

I was in seminary through July 2010, taking at least 2 seminar classes per year, so I had lots of assigned reading until just 2 years ago.  But as soon as I finished, I started reading more of what I WANTED to read.  And Ken has been the primary source I've used for my new books.  Let me say now before I forget, we all need someone to challenge, inspire, and mentor us, regardless of our vocation.  We NEED someone in our lives who has been doing WHAT WE'RE DOING longer than us.  I have several of these people in my life, and their wisdom keeps me from wasting energy by learning things the hard/uninformed way.

In the past 2+ years, I've read many of the popular books on ministry, the books "everybody else" has read (Radical, Crazy Love, Christian Atheist, UnChristian, Not A Fan, etc.). It's easy to get caught up in just reading "the latest, greatest thing" by this "latest, greatest pastor," but I refuse to read a book just because "everybody else" is doing it.  If I don't want to become like somebody, why would I read their book(s)?  I had to do enough of that kind of reading in college/seminary - reading books just to tear them apart and show where they missed the mark biblically.

I've read or re-read a few classics (Pilgrim's Progress, In His Steps, Mere Christianity . . . ), some adoption books (Adopted For Life, Orphanology [currently] . . .), and some harder books that weren't FUN (The Church by Mark Dever, Jesus Among Other Gods, Desiring God, Doctrine by Driscoll & Breshears . . .).

Ken told me about a guy named Avery Willis a while back.  I finally checked him out, and I couldn't do that without checking out a guy named Jim Putman.  Ken mentioned him, too.  He's the pastor of Real Life Discipleship in Post Falls, ID.   He was a wrestler in college so his athletic/coaching approach is appealing to me.  Jim started a church that grew from infancy to over 9,000 in about 10 years.  He didn't do it with flash, an entertainment-based worship service, or any type of gimmick.  He did it through discipleship.  He said they wanted to put their resources and energy into making disciples, not a Sunday show.

You can read about it in two books Putman's written: Church Is a Team Sport and Real-Life Discipleship.

As I read the second book, Real-Life Discipleship, and Truth That Sticks: How to Commuicate Velcro Truth in a Teflon World by Avery Willis and Mark Snowden, I learned about the Bible storying method of teaching.  Willis served as a missionary in Indonesia working with primarily ORAL LEARNERS - people who learn through stories and spoken words, not through reading.  Interestingly, most Americans are also ORAL LEARNERS, even though most Americans can read at some level.  But most church teaching is presented in a way that appeals to LITERATE LEARNERS.  These books have changed the way I think about teaching/preaching.

If you're in ministry, I encourage you to read these two books:  Real-Life Discipleship and Truth That Sticks.  I don't know if these books have ever been on anybody's best seller lists, but when did popular opinion EVER get set as the standard for value/truth?

My Perfectly-Matched Wife

God couldn't have matched me with anyone more suited for ME.  Since I'm such a , uh, "unique" person (or maybe, difficult, demanding, determined, tunnel-visioned . . .), it took Him 34 years to get it done.

I thank God daily that I was patient.  Speaking of patience, that's not one of my virtues, either, at least not when it comes to the monotonous, daily stuff like traffic, lines, etc.  But with BIG STUFF, I think I've got a pretty good record.  So, I'm a complete failure on the daily side, and a pretty big success on the BIG STUFF side.

I came home from a mission trip with my youth recently and found a jar decorated with pink sitting on my dresser.  I thought Kelley must have put it there accidentally because it sure didn't look like anything I'd want or need.  I checked it out, anyway.  Inside the jar are large popsicle sticks of various colors, each with a "date" written on them.  Not like a calendar date, but a boy/girl date.  One color requires some planning and money.  One color less planning and money, and one color requires little or no planning or money.

I had read several sticks before I thought, "Maybe I'm not supposed to be reading these."  Glad I stopped.  I'm not supposed to know what they are.  They're supposed to be surprises - I just pick one randomly using the color codes based on how much time/money we have to spend.

I only remember one of the dates I read.  It requires planning and money, and fortunately, it's already taken care of for this year - a Clemson away game.  We're going to Boston to see Clemson play Boston College in a few weeks.

I usually work out after work and try to be finished before 6.  I pulled a muscle in my back last week and have had to reduce my workouts this week.  So I finished early a couple days ago and said, "Wow, I don't have anything to do."  The grass was cut.  Clothes were  folded.  Braves didn't come on till 10pm.  I said, "Let's go outside and throw a baseball."  (Kelley doesn't even own a glove.  She's thrown with me MAYBE TWICE in our 5 years of marriage.)  Kelley replied, "No, but that IS one of the things in the date jar!"

No matter what else I find in the date jar, I don't think any of them will make me happier.

"Lord, Keep Us Safe."

 

While on a mission trip with some youth and adults from our church two weeks ago, I told our group one night during our devotional that we need to stop praying for safety all the time.  I confused them, and more than one person talked to me about it privately.

Each morning after breakfast and each night before bed, we met and had Bible study, and primarily, I took us through the last three chapters of Not A Fan by Kyle Idleman.  Those last three chapters are titled, Whenever, Wherever, and Whatever, and Idleman talks about the cost of following Jesus.  

I couldn't recall my source when I talked about this, but I remembered reading something CONVICTING about our constant prayers for safety, as if safety is the greatest thing in life.  Our desire for safety probably keeps us from following God to lots of places He's trying to lead us.  We think, "God doesn't want me to do that!  It's DANGEROUS!"  

If Jesus was primarily concerned about our safety, He never would've sent the Twelve Disciples out.  He didn't promise them physical safety.  Instead, He told them:

Matthew 10:16-21  “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves. ¹⁷ But beware! For you will be handed over to the courts and will be flogged with whips in the synagogues. ¹⁸ You will stand trial before governors and kings because you are my followers. But this will be your opportunity to tell the rulers and other unbelievers about me.^[e] 19 When you are arrested, don’t worry about how to respond or what to say. God will give you the right words at the right time. ²⁰ For it is not you who will be speaking—it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

When we got back home, I located my source:

From Crazy Love by Francis Chan, p. 133:

"Haven't we all prayed the following prayer? Lord, we pray for safety as we travel.  We ask that no one gets hurt on this trip.  Please keep everyone safe until we return, and bring us back safely.  In Jesus' name we pray, amen.  The exact wording may vary a bit, but that is the standard prayer we recite before leaving on mission trips, retreats, vacations, and business trips."

"We are consumed by safety.  Obsessed with it, actually.  Now, I'm not saying it is wrong to pray for God's protection, but I am questioning how we've made safety our highest priority.  We've elevated safety to the neglect of whatever God's best is, whatever would bring God the most glory, or whatever would accomplish His purposes in our lives and in the world. "

"Would you be willing to pray this prayer?  God, bring me closer to You during this trip, whatever it takes . . ."

People who are obsessed with

 Jesus aren't consumed with their

 personal safety and comfort above

 all else.  Obsessed people care

 more about God's kingdom coming

 to this earth than their own lives

 being shielded from pain or

 distress.

Not that I agree with everything any author says, but Chan's words are powerful and convicting, as are David Platt's in his book, Radical.  If you have the book, see pages 164-165 and 174-175.  Platt also talks about following Jesus in spite of the risks and dangers, in spite of the fact that it might get us hurt or killed.  

John F. Kennedy once said, "Do not pray for easy lives.  Pray to be stronger men."

"Let's Go to Lowe's Tonight"

Kelley said this to me today in an email.  The context was that she wanted to do SOMETHING tonight, and not stay at home.  So Lowe's was her idea.  She has a good reason: looking at swingsets for Kate, who is about to turn 1 in a couple weeks.

I replied and asked her how it feels to be getting older.

I'm 11 years older than she is.  I've already acknowledged that I'm getting older (rupturing my Achilles Tendon at age 37 playing flag football with a bunch of college students assured me I'm getting older), and I recognize more easily that people younger than me are getting older THAN THEY RECOGNIZE IT THEMSELVES.  Of course, I guess it's like that for most people when they look at younger generations.

I've been involved in youth ministry since 1997.  My first full-time position was in a small town and there wasn't much to do there, so we went to the nearby larger town (about 15 minutes away) or to Greenville or Columbia CONSTANTLY.  I used to say that I've put more miles on church vans than on my own personal vehicles.  I've taken van loads of kids to see millions of movies I had no desire to see, to millions of restaurants at which I had no desire to eat, on millions of mall shopping trips when I had no money to buy anything . . . ALL SO THAT THOSE KIDS COULD HANG OUT TOGETHER IN A SAFE, POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT.  Of course, I enjoyed hanging out with them, too.  I was single and had no wife at home TRYING TO RULE MY LIFE.  (That's a joke.  Kelley is too small to rule me.)

Nowadays, teenagers don't so much like hanging out together in real life; they prefer hanging out on Facebook.  I guess.  Go figure.  Makes no sense to me.

My point in all this is, NOT ONCE IN ALL MY YEARS OF YOUTH MINISTRY have I gotten in a van and asked a bunch of teenagers, "So where do y'all want to go tonight?" and heard the reply, "Let's go to Lowe's."

So Lowe's it is.  And that makes me happy.  So much better than Old Navy, Rooms to Go, Target, etc.  I like looking at lawnmowers we can't afford (right now), and getting a small/cheap hand tool I don't have, and buying MORE bungee cords (among other things, I use them on my home gym to increase the resistance . . .)

Fitness and Age: Understanding Fitness Part E

While it is generally true that fitness level declines with age after about age thirty-five, it is not an absolute.  Getting older does not necessitate feeling older, losing strength and vitality, or limiting physical activities.  Most people know someone aged seventy or older who continues to participate in physically challenging activities like weight lifting, bicycling, snow skiing, hiking, or jogging.  

There are a variety of prevalent age-related fitness myths, and Dr. Kenneth Cooper exposes them in his book, Faith-Based Fitness.  Many people believe exercising after age forty is dangerous, but there is no support for this myth, as long as older continuing or beginning exercisers have regular medical checkups.  In fact, evidence shows that those who fail to exercise are at greater risk than those who exercise regularly.

            With any endurance exercise comes the warning not to exceed the maximum heart rate, which is calculated by the formula 220 - age.  The second age myth is that maximum heart rate automatically declines with age.  The main reason the maximum heart rate declines with age is a lack of aerobic conditioning.  A higher maximum heart rate can be maintained by anyone who does aerobic exercise.  With a higher maximum heart rate comes a greater working capacity. 

            Blood pressure does not have to increase significantly with age, although it usually does.  Many people do have a harder time controlling blood pressure, but it is generally true that blood pressure can be controlled and kept in the normal range by staying fit.  The same is true of body fat percentage.  People generally become less fit by choice, not by some unalterable force of nature.

            The average person loses between 30 - 40 percent of his muscle mass during his lifetime, but the reason is because most people become less active and less fit as they age.  It is commonly thought that increasing muscle mass after age sixty is impossible, but muscle can be added at any age with strength training.   Cooper teaches that strength training leads to significant increases in muscle size and strength and in functional mobility, even among nursing home residents up to ninety-six years old.   Likewise, people who engage in regular endurance exercise can maintain a high aerobic capacity from age forty to about age seventy.  It is only in the seventies and eighties that older athletes normally begin to experience declines in aerobic ability, but even at late ages, those who continue to train can remain remarkably fit.

            Another myth is that after age sixty-five, there is no reason to worry about cholesterol, smoking, or hardening of the arteries.  Cholesterol levels are important at any age, and no age is too old to benefit from reduced cholesterol intake and blood levels.  Research shows that quitting smoking has significant benefits regardless of age, and atherosclerosis (hardening or clogging of the arteries) can be reversed through dietary changes or prescription drugs.

            Having a heart attack is no reason to discontinue or avoid a fitness program, and for those who have suffered a heart attack, there is no better time to start one.  Not only is regular exercise an important part of cardiac rehabilitation, but exercising in a monitored rehabilitation program is safer than exercise among the general population.  Heart attack victims are at greater risk when they avoid exercise than when they engage in exercise.

            Myths may be more about laziness than age-related fears.  Research shows that people as old as one hundred can dramatically increase their strength, improve their balance, restore bone density, moderate diabetes, and diminish joint pain in just a few weeks of weight training.  The minute a person starts sweating, whether he is twenty or ninety, he elevates his heart rate, his arteries get more flexible, and his blood pressure is lowered, thereby lowering the risk of heart disease and stroke.  For hours after exercise, bodies are more sensitive to insulin, keeping sugar levels in check and reducing the risk of diabetes.

Herschel Walker is a great, modern example of the myths of age’s affect on fitness.  Walker won the 1982 Heisman Trophy (presented annually to the top college football player in America) and was a world class sprinter at the University of Georgia from 1980– 1982.  He played professional football from 1983-1997, and competed in the 1992 Winter Olympics as a bobsledder.  On January 30, 2010, at age forty-seven, Walker competed in his first professional Mixed Martial Arts fight.  Critics ridiculed him for entering the sport at such an advanced age, and concerns for his health were daily topics on national sports shows.  Despite all the negativity, Walker knocked out twenty-six year old Greg Nagy in a dominating performance.

            Because of his age, Walker had to endure a battery of tests to be sanctioned to fight.  Allen Fields, chief physician for the Florida Boxing Commission that also oversees MMA sanctioning, said that not only did Walker pass the most strenuous of all medical athletic tests, but he produced the highest cardiac stress test score of anyone ever tested by his facility.  Fields said that Walker was in “as fine a shape as Muhammad Ali or any of these people we’ve had the care of.  This guy is 47 going on 22, as far as his physical fitness goes.”  Like all world class athletes, Walker is an anomaly.  But unlike most world class athletes, Walker has maintained his fitness as he has aged.  Mike Tyson and Bo Jackson are contemporaries of Walker, and at this stage of their lives, they look like any other middle-aged, overweight man.  Everyone has the choice to age like Walker, or to age like Tyson and Jackson.

Fitness and Body Types: Understanding Fitness Part D

God enjoys diversity, as seen in nature with all the varieties of plants, flowers, and trees.  He also made many different body types, and all are fearfully and wonderfully made.  God did not give one body type as the model for all people.  He created human bodies in a variety of shapes and sizes, and each one has specific strengths, weaknesses, capabilities, and limitations.

While God loves and accepts each body shape and size, Hollywood does not.  Hollywood tries to tell the world which body types are beautiful and acceptable, at the exclusion of every other body type.  For instance, women models are generally abnormally tall and thin, with eating habits that are detrimental to their own health as well as the health of women around the world who aspire to be like them.  (This unhealthy thinness is not limited to female models.) 

God decides the physical attributes of every person.  An individual can alter his God-given appearance to some degree with diet and fitness, but not enough to change his basic structure.  Therefore, instead of trying to fit a mold he was not created to fit and showing God ungratefulness, he should give Him praise and thanks and be a good steward of his body.  Nutritionalist and personal trainer Ron Kardashian says,

Nowhere in the Bible does He say that a human being is born to be anorexic.  On the contrary, God says that He made you to be His son or daughter, uniquely created with wonderful gifting and potential.  While He desires for your body to be the temple in which He dwells, He does not describe the perfect shape, height, or weight that He prefers.  Instead, God places emphasis on the inner beauty of your person, not on the outward physique that will one day perish.  God considers the good behavior that proceeds from integrity of character more important than a “Hollywood-type” figure…According to Scripture, what is most precious to God?  …His Word does not teach that a certain physique makes you more or less delightful to Him.

Human somatotypes, or body types, have three distinct characteristics: endomorphy (endomorph or endo), ectomorphy (ectomorph or ecto), and mesomorphy (mesomorph or meso).  Some people fall into one of these distinct categories, but most people have a blend of characteristics from two of the categories.  These characteristics determine how each person’s body will look, react to exercise and gain or lose weight. Figure 2.1 gives representations of the three body types, while figure 2.2 gives representations of blended body types. 

Figure 2.1: The Three Somatotypes.

Figure 2.2: Somatotype Combinations.

  

The mesomorph (or meso) body type is best described as muscular.  Characteristic mesos have the ability to increase muscle size relatively quick and easy.  They have well-developed, rectangular shapes with thick bones, defined chests, and shoulders that are larger and broader than their waistlines.  Their hips are about the same width as their shoulders, and they have toned buttocks and legs.  Sylvester Stallone and Demi Moore are good examples of mesos.

            Mesos are well-suited for athletics and are physically capable of high levels of activity.  They excel in activities that require strength and short bursts of energy.  Conversely, endurance activities are not their forte and they tend to avoid the cardio section of the gym.  This avoidance is representative of playing to natural strengths.

Mesos tend to store fat evenly over their bodies and have a high metabolism because of their muscularity and physical activity.  Of all the three body types, mesos have the greatest ability to stay fit.  Unfortunately, as mesos age or become less active, they can easily become overweight unless they also reduce their diet.  Cardiovascular disease is a common threat for overweight mesos.

            The endomorph (or endo) body type is best described as round for males and curvy for females.  Characteristic endos have the capacity for high fat storage and a greatest propensity for obesity.  The majority of their body weight is centered in the middle, around the hips for females, and in the abdomen for men.  Structurally, they have large bones, round faces, large hips and thighs, and shorter arms and legs, which result in a stocky appearance. 

            Because abdominal fat carries a greater risk of heart disease and cardiovascular problems, male endos must be very diligent to control their weight.  Unfortunately, endos have a harder time controlling their weight, but it is possible, as Robin Williams has shown.  They are naturally strong and can gain muscle easily with weight training.  Every ounce of added muscle constantly burns calories, so adding muscle increases metabolism and can make controlling body fat much easier.  

Female endos have been among the most celebrated women of the last century.  Again, the word that best describes endo is curvy, which is an ideal trait for females.  Marilyn Monroe is the classic endo example. More recent examples are Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, and Cindy Crawford.

The ectomorph (or ecto) body type is best described as slim.  Characteristic ectos have trouble gaining weight: think fashion model.  They have a linear shape with narrow hips and longer limbs.  Tom Hanks and Courtney Cox are famous ectos.

Ectos are well-suited for endurance activities, not physical contact.  Like mesos, they have a tendency to stick to what they do best, bypassing the free weights for the cardio equipment.  They have longer, thinner muscles, but they can add strength if they give the effort.

Ectos have low body fat, one of the best health qualities possible, because of their faster metabolism and tendency for endurance activities.  But, a healthy outward appearance is not always an indication of inner health.  Ectos who have a poor diet are at a greater risk of high cholesterol, hypertension, and obesity, even though an obese ecto may not look obese.

As previously stated, most people have a blend of characteristics from two of these three body types.  Expectations for physical appearance and fitness results must be matched to the limitations of a person’s body type.  Joseph Christiana stresses that getting results from any exercise

starts with knowing your body type.  Each body type requires a different exercise approach or methodology for reading its genetic potential.  Some types gain weight very easily; other types would have to eat all day to gain weight.  Some require very little effort to get great results, while others have to work zealously to see fewer results.  There are body types who carry their unwanted weight in the upper body area, and others who gain weight in the hips and thighs.  Considering your particular body type will help you choose the exercise program most effective for your needs.

A football team is an easy reference point for the three body types and for realistic expectations.  Team members will exhibit the normal strengths, weaknesses, and necessities of each body type.  Ectos will never match the strength of endos or mesos, and will never have the ability to be a lineman, a linebacker, or a fullback.  Endos will never match the agility or speed of ectos or mesos, and will never have the ability to play receiver, running back, or defensive back.  Mesos are too small to play on the line, and generally lack the height and agility to be good receivers.  No running back wants to run behind a line of ectos.  No lineman wants to open holes for endo running backs or have their quarterback throwing to endo receivers.  All three types are needed, and each depends on the others for success. 

Each individual must accept that his body types prohibit him from developing certain body shapes.  If a Cocker Spaniel tries to look like a Labrador Retriever, it will spend its life hopelessly and miserably chasing an impossible dream.  For each different body type, there is a level of fitness and an ideal size and shape that can be achieved.  But regardless of effort, an ecto will never be able to look like a powerfully built meso because the bone structures are different.  Individuals must accept that doing their very best with what they have is all they can do, and furthermore, it is all they are required to do.

My First Father's Day

OK, technically Sunday, June 17 was my 39th Father's Day, but it was my FIRST AS A FATHER!  Since I was 16, I'd wondered if the day would ever come.  The following is the most personal thing about me, something I hid from just about everybody until a year ago when I shared it with my church family during a sermon: at age 16, I discovered that because of a birth defect, I would never have biological children.

As a junior in high school, I started the year at 5'3" tall and about 110 pounds.  I lied on my driver's license and put  5'4" and 115.  Somehow that made me feel better.  I'd never really started puberty because the only testosterone my body made was the 20% of a male's total that comes from the adrenal gland.  I was a slender, small child and for years I just thought I'd always be that way, but by the time I was 12, my 10-year old brother had passed me in size.  It was humiliating and it caused me to resent him.

After 7th grade, I refused to change in front of anyone.  I'd always loved sports and P.E. had been my favorite class of the day, but no more.  I was scared to death that someone would find out.  We moved to Portsmouth, VA the summer before my 10th grade year and for P.E. there, you were docked a point off your final grade for every day you didn't shower (in open showers) after class.  I quickly discovered that there were 90 days in a semester, and the best grade I could get was a 10, because I wasn't taking a shower in front of ANYBODY.  Awesome.  Made me miss Franklin County High School in Carnesville, GA all the more.  There, nobody cared if you went to class stinking.

Near the end of my 10th grade year, after my family had moved to SC, I convinced my parents that something was wrong with me and I started seeing doctors.  I thought having a younger brother pass me in size was humiliating, but it was NOTHING compared to the exams I was put through.  I won't post my official diagnosis to keep the content of this blog PG, but after a few months of blood work, I started taking testosterone in mid-September, 1989.  That's about the same time I was sized for my high school class ring - size 8.

All I knew was, that stuff worked!  The process that should've taken 3-4 years or more happened to me in less than a year.  SUDDENLY, and I do mean suddenly, none of my clothes or shoes fit anymore.  I developed an Adam's Apple that has given me shaving fits ever since, and the deeper voice that goes with it. Our class rings arrived around February, and I was completely shocked when my size 8 ring got stuck on my  middle knuckle.  I had to get it re-sized to a 10, and then later, to a 10.5.  In four months, I'd grown about 4 inches taller and about 40 pounds heavier.  Talk about AWESOME!

But, growing so quickly caused plenty of problems, too.  I tried out for my school's baseball team about that same time - February.  I was hitting balls harder than ever before - obviously.  I could throw harder.  There were about 30 guys trying out and up to half would get cut, so I was going all out.  And it was killing me.  Never before had physical activity caused me PAIN.  My sudden growth was too much for all my connective tissues, and each night after practice, I'd hobble to my room and ice everything down for a couple hours.  Each day at school was misery because we had 3 floors and I had classes on each.  One day before practice, I went and talked to the coach and told him the real reason I wasn't going to come back.  He told me I was going to make the team and that he could really use me, so I kept trying for a couple days.  And then I told him I just couldn't do it.  I was heartbroken.  Baseball was the only organized sport I'd ever played, I was pretty good at it, and playing high school baseball had always been a dream.
 
My growth slowed over the next year, and I graduated at 5'9" and about 175 pounds.  A few people at school actually accused me of taking steroids.  I asked them how stupid they were, because steroids don't make anybody grow 6" TALLER.  But, it was obvious that SOMETHING had happened.  I had some weights at home and used them often even though I didn't really know what I was doing, but my body-type is mesomorph and I had natural muscle.  Again, it was AWESOME!

That sounds like a happy ending, and the growth was great, but I was still dealing with the fact that I'd never have biological children.  When my doctor told me that part, I started crying.  And I didn't stop for a while.  He tried to console me with humor: "Just think, you can have all the sex you want and you won't have to worry about getting anybody pregnant!"  That didn't even make me smile.  I was a committed Christian, absolutely determined to have sex with my wife and only my wife.  My wife.

My wife was on my mind from that point on, and thinking about her scared me to death.  This is the hard part of my diagnosis, if you haven't figured it out.  I'd always loved being around children, especially babies, and they seemed to like me, too.  I just expected to have 3-4 of my own in the future.  With my wife.  But with my PROBLEM, I didn't think anybody would ever want me after they found out.  So I guarded my secret.  I absolutely HAD to tell my closest MALE friends, and a few adults (male and female) who had become mentors to me.  I went to the doctor twice a month for injections, and it grew increasingly difficult to hide all those doctor visits, or the yellow doctor's receipts that I sometimes forgot to remove from my car.  These receipts had big, dark handwriting on them that said, "Testosterone Injection."

But I hid it from girls.  The first girl I ever loved found out accidentally from a friend of ours at church.  The friend overheard it from someone I'd told.  This girlfriend, whom I wasn't even dating at the time but I PLANNED TO MARRY, called me one night and asked me to come see her after she got off work.  She needed to talk to me about "something."  We went and sat in my car and she immediately started crying and asked, "Why didn't you TELL me?"  I didn't even have to ask what it was.  I knew.  And I immediately thought, "Well, I can forget about her.  Not gonna happen now."  Before I had time to think anything else, she was telling me that it didn't matter to her, and it didn't change anything.  I was SHOCKED.  And AMAZED.  My fear turned out to be for NOTHING.  But how was I supposed to know it wouldn't matter to her?  She already had her children's NAMES picked out!  We ultimately did date for about a year, and my infertility had nothing to do with our breakup.

I decided that I didn't want to go through that awful situation again, and that the next time I was even THINKING about getting serious with a girl, I'd tell her up front.  So I did.  I told the next girl I dated early on that I had a secret, and if she found out about it, she might not want anything to do with me.  One night at a church softball game, again sitting in my car, she said she thought she knew my secret, and she guessed it right away.  I was thinking, "HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET THAT FROM WHAT I SAID?  You weren't thinking "murderer," "felon," "sex-change operation," "toupee . . .???"

Two conversations, two wins for me.  I'd worried for years for nothing, so far.  But still, I was 25 years old and single, and I didn't want to be 35 years old and still single because everybody knew I couldn't have children.  So, I kept my secret to myself.

The third girl I ever got serious with already knew.  She's my wife today, but she used to be one of the students in my youth ministry.  She's always been tiny, and during her high school years, I wondered if she had a similar problem as me.  So I told her my secret and asked if she'd been examined by a doctor.  She assured me that she was OK.  I also told a few of my other students when there was an appropriate reason, with the assurance that they wouldn't tell anyone.  A couple were girls and a couple were guys, and I never INTENDED to tell them, but through some problem I was helping each deal with, my story just related and I thought it would help them.

A few years later when my future wife was no longer one of my students and I stopped seeing her as such, there were no barriers to her pursuing a relationship with me.  I didn't have to have one of those scary, intense car conversations.  Awesome!

Four years and one day after we were married, we became parents to Katherine Ava.  She was born ONE DAY before our anniversary.  We were hoping she'd be born ON our anniversary, but she had other plans.  We adopted Kate from two teenagers who put the best interests of their baby ahead of their own interests.  God led them to select us to raise their daughter.  They blessed us with a gift I was unable to give myself, or my wife.  I will forever be grateful to them.  And as long as it's in Kate's best interests, they'll always be a part of her life.

I have a big regret about my secret.  I spent most of the past 15 years PRIMARILY as a youth minister.  There are so many applications I could've made with my story, so much good I could've used it for, so many ways I could've potentially impacted more than just 4-5 lives with it.  But I was too scared.  I was selfish.  I was worried about scaring away some beautiful girl who could've been my future wife, while all that time God was working things out in ways I never would've asked for or originally wanted.  I have regrets.  But after finally being brave enough to tell my church last year, I'm no longer ashamed for people to know the truth about me.  The only reason I finally broke and told my story was because I was tired of people assuming that we were adopting because my wife was infertile.  I was tired of people asking both of us personal questions and us having to hide the truth.  I'm glad I finally got tired of it.  And I'm glad I'm no longer scared to tell the real story about why it took me so long to celebrate my first Father's Day as a father.